Gay Marriage and My Pet Peeve

Things are really heating up in the debate over gay marriage in New York State. Eight State Senators are undecided, and it looks like the legislation needs six more votes to pass.

The words of State Senator Greg Ball, R-Carmel, Putnam County:

Ball opposed same-sex marriage as an assemblyman, but now says he's reconsidering his position as a first-year senator. Ball wants any legislation to include protections for religious organizations if they refuse to recognize same-sex marriage.

"I really want to see real religious carve-outs that protect the church and other religious institutions, as well as a clear division defined in the bill between civil marriage and religious marriage," Ball said.

The current bill, which has been introduced in the Assembly but not the Senate, would not compel the clergy to solemnize a same-sex marriage. But Ball said the language should be stronger.

I am of course, thrilled that Sen. Ball is reconsidering his position. But it is beyond me to understand how any public servant, educated in the civic process could actually believe a church could be forced to solemnize a same-sex marriage. Or any marriage, for that matter.

Just because I love St. Patrick’s cathedral and might think it’s cool to get married there, I highly doubt the Archbishop of New York would agree to solemnize the marriage of this non-Catholic. Rabbis traditionally refuse to perform interfaith weddings. Clergy all over this country refuse to perform any number weddings, all the time. They are already protected in their ability to do so. It would be no different for the Catholic priest to refuse to perform a same-sex marriage, as it would have been for a rabbi to refuse to solemnize my marriage.

Same goes for the division between civil marriage and religious marriage. Sorry folks, but marriage in this country is a civil institution, and religious folks should be happy about that. It is precisely what keeps them from having to perform religious rites when they don't see fit. I am married NOT because my wonderful minister said some beautiful words 11 years ago in front of my family and friends, but because the state gave me a license to wed. He could have said all he wanted, over and over and over again – if I had not been granted a license by a civic authority, none of it would have mattered.

I like to think the politicians we elect are smart enough to know all this stuff.

But, I guess if we have to reiterate the obvious in written law sometimes, even in a society where separation of church in state in paramount – so be it. If it gets us marriage equality, it’s worth it in the long run.

But it’s still my intellectual pet peeve.